Generational Differences Taboo

Jan: (the card is "Mardi Gras") Oh! With the beads and the boobies!

Jess: You hold your things up with this.
Becca: Belt.
Chris: Bra?

Jessica: (the card is "Ecstasy") Oh, um, really excited...
Alan: Aroused?
Jessica: You're close.
Alan: Orgasm!

Becca: Whale!
Alan: It's like that, but with a male part.
Jess: Sperm whale.

Jan: (The card is "Homer Simpson") Oh, the yellow people! The yellow people on tv!

2009 Annual Holiday Christmas Party

Rob: (on the topic of Twilight) I can be creepy and stalk teenage girls without being a vampire.
Scott: I was thinking the same thing, but didn't say it.

Jessica: I don't like people.

Rob: (talking about people) I'm so confused - what color are they?

Jessica: In some ways, I think you're the girliest one of all. For example, you've read all the Twilight books.

Chris: You can't vote because you're a woman.

Siblings

Becca: Billy, if you're going to strip, you need to do it on a pole.

Robby: Just jump on the table and do it.

Hmmm...

Jess [referring to Tim and Patrick's incessant bickering]: You guys are like brothers!... Or lovers....

Jessica: Paige or Patrick?
Chris: Paige because she's better looking.
Tim: I beg to differ.

Another question for the masses...

Imagine if BECCA were a fashion fad. Which would she be?

1. Popped up shirt collar
2. Leg warmers
3. Zubaz zebra pants
4. Mood rings
5. Ray-Ban sunglasses
6. Toga

(Leave your answer/opinion in the comments!)




Becca: You can't wear zebra pants with a toga!

Ah, friends...

Becca: Come on, I want to be picked!
Chris: That's 'cause no one wants you.
Becca: Yeah, I know... wait, what??

Consider this question posed...

Imagine if TIM accidentally backed over the neighbor's cat in the driveway, what would he do?

1. Bury it and say nothing.
2. Confess
3. Buy a replacement cat and pretend nothing happened
4. Place it on the road and say nothing
5. Blame the neighbor for inadequate cat control
6. Run over it again to make sure it was dead

(Leave your answer/opinion in the comments section!)

Live Quoting

Paige: Sex Rehab!...It helps me relate to my youth.
Tim: TMI.

Mouse!

Tim: fuck. the mouse won.
Tim: but we totally know where its hiding.

You'd get so much writing done

Jenn: You could adopt.
Rachel: What did you say? get a dog?

Jenn: There totally should be talk like a ninja day. everyone would just be silent!

kid in movie: How much do you know about faucets?
Rachel: I know a lot about Fawcetts.

Murderous rage (a nanwrimo write in)

Rachel: Oooh, should I have him kill somebody?
Sarah: The answer is always yes.

Keeping math interesting

Prof: This doesn't require a government grant, or an advanced degree, or even sobriety.

Prof: We should have themed lectures. Like, if we're talking about something hot, everybody wears beach clothes, or something cold, everybody wears parkas. So right now, I'm picturing everybody naked.

It's been too long since we had a good quote

KT: You don't happen to have any papers on mass consumption/consumerism/materialism in todays society do you?
Tim: hmm. nope.
Tim: Is mass consumption ... like eating lots of food?

rule to being British #37: moving must only be described by the word "nightmare"

James (upon the unearthing of our landlord's hideous stuff): It really wasn't awesome manor until you moved in.

Rachel (to Jenn): Do you like it better on bottom?
Rachel (to Jenn): I dunno, can you screw better than me?

Moving guy: That cat is too big.

Some people don't know when to quit.

Things that are soft:
Jessica: Tooshy! No wait, teeth. Teeth? What the hell was I thinking?

Patrick: There's always titties and tooshies in SciFi movies.

Things that in the White House:
Christina: Tramps! later What? I'm just saying, she keeps fit and it's not for him. I mean, he's busy and a woman has needs.

Chris: This is what I remember about my wedding: tequila.

Things found in a dorm room:
Chris: Thermal dynamics book.
Everybody: Nerd!
Paul: How did you ever get laid?
Chris: I got married.

Things found in a scifi movie:
Patrick: Rauncy stuff.
Jessica: What kind of science fiction movies are you watching? pause And where can I find them?

Becca: I think I just poured myself too much Scotch.
Jessica: No such thing.

Hot places:
Christina: My house.
Jessica: But there's no "R" in that.

Paul: I'd like to point out the difference in Chris and Jessica's choices for "things found in a dorm room."
Jessica: Boinkings, titties, rastafarians.
Chris: Book report, thermal dynamics book, reading material.

Are any of us surprised?

Patrick: I'm pretty good at picking up gays.

After seeing the new moon trailer

R: I have paper cuts. Can I get worker's comp for that?
J: No, but watch out for vampires. Coming at you from across the room. In slow motion.

Typical

Rob: I effed up.
Tim: Good work.
Tim: What'd you do?

Adventures in WineLand

While tasting a '97 Cabernet Franc
Rob: It looks like a port. It smells like a port.
Becca: But it doesn't quack like a port.

After I purchased my fifth bottle of wine
Rob:You don't need to take my keys away from me. You need to take my wallet!

While making our way to Tre Anelli my GPS was way off on our location
Becca: Apparently your GPS has had more wine than we have.

As I typed the previous quote into my phone while driving (when nobody was within a mile of me!)
Becca: I'm not sure how I feel about you typing and driving.
Rob: I'm fine ... GPA means GPS.

Million Monkies

“He’s wearing a suit, he’s voldemort.” -- Claire about John,  her boyfriend

“Be gentle, I have no feet, no hands and syphilis.”  – John

“You’re just obsessed with small things!” – Rachel to Claire

“Excuse me, I’m right here!” -- John

Accumulated quotes

[While talking to a third party]
Me: I'm going to the BBQ with my friend Becca.
Tim: When are you finally going to stop calling her just a friend?

[While tasting hefeweizen's at Yardhouse]
Me: I taste a lot of nut.

[Wimbledon commentator this morning]
Commentator: He involved the ball boys and the ball girls in a little bit of a knockup.

Bowling

After I missed all the bowling pins on a throw.
Person I was bowling with: You're supposed to knock down all the pins.
Becca: Oh, is that what I'm trying to do?
I throw the ball and get a spare.

Poker Night

Paige: So why do dogs have to be 6 months old before they're neutered?
Brandon: So they remember the pain.
Patrick: So they're fully developed.
Chris: So they don't grow back.

Patrick: sneeze
Group: Jeez, Patrick.
Jessica: That's like 10% of an orgasm so we should be congratulating him.

Sad fact, this isn't the first time I've done this:

Rob: where the fuck did I leave the hotel key?
Tim: Did you leave it in the door?
Rob: no!
[Opens hotel door, key is still in the door]

Short answer: yes

Edd's dad (to Edd): Is she always this annoying?

Racism

Aubri: Don't worry, we accept you for who you are. Unless you're black.

Rob: I just burped up some cupcake. Yum.

Good Advice

Classmate: You could skip the final and kill his family and still get an A-.
Becca: But I don't want an A-.
Classmate: Then don't kill his family.

Kickball

Jake: Adult kickball is the dumbest thing ever, like an organized Candyland league.

Eurovision

John: This is how Rome conquered the the world
Jenn: Pelvic thrusts?

John: She's sparkly, she's a vampire...
Jenn: That's all it takes now?
John: Edward Cullen after the operation

Claire: They gave 10 to the UK and three to France?
Jenn: To be fair the French song was crap too
Claire: yes but it was crap in French!

Claire, exploding into French: [translation: The French sell weapons to Israel! We don't need to give them Euro vision points too.]

Jenn: It does feel more right with the world when we're losing

Jenn: Victory for Norway?
John: Not too often in world events you can wave that banner

UK contestant: My time, it's my time
BBC News: Well, sadly, it wasn't.

Stellar

Becca: I suppose that would depend on anatomy.
Brandon: If we can trade we can have sex.

It's a conspiracy

"You'd think by now they'd have figured out the complicated #2 pencil technology."

Friendly Advice

Andy: Milk her Timmy.

From class

Becca: We need a super liquid, price inelastic good.
Other: Cigs in prison?

Becca: The welfare state: subsidizing stupidity.

Note: I don't remember why we need that type of good, but we did.

History comes alive

Kaite: 2011 is ages away
Rachel: Yeah, I'll be done with my PhD by then...
Jenn (to Rachel): That's not wood

Kaite: Ok, new rule. No one is coming to my party dressed as a fascist.

Camping

S: [Referring to her boyfriend] He doesn't want to sleep on the couch.
J: But guys like that. Its like camping.

Knife-fighting monkies

Edd: I don't think I could ever stab you.
Rachel: That's the sweetest thing you've ever said to me.

Rachel: feeling very sluggish today
maybe i have swine flu!...
Edd: Hmmm - that's how I felt yesterday!
I think that was more wine flu though.

Ways around the system

Discussing immigration constraints in economic history class, the professor is from China.

Classmate 1: Are you married, because we could hook you up.
Classmate 2: Well, if they overturn prop 8 you could just marry other economics professor.

Choices

Tim: I'm thirsty and all I have is beer and water.
Tim: Damn.

And then Buffy staked Edward. The End.

Jenn: We've already had this Twilight versus Harry Potter conversation
Couch Surfer 1: There is no conversation. That debate just doesn't exist.
Couch surfer 2: I haven't even read Harry Potter and I agree with you.

For Kaite

Rachel: If I were a lesbian I'd totally go for you!!

Claire: You have to love Satan, you lesbian person. *reactions of astonishment* What? I was joking. I love Satan too.

How to save the economy

Classmate 1: We should have a bake sale.
Classmate 2: With hash brownies.

Economics helps you understand everything

Otis: In general, if you can break the connection between looks good and tastes good, your utility function is going to increase.

Miss Communication

Rachel: I'm trying to ship my cat over from the states
German Couchsurfer: Surely it's cheaper to buy a new car?

Teaching Religiocity to the Heathens

My cousin: So God is a bearded lady?

And then the werewolves open their eyes

Claire: He talks about rape all the time?
Edd: Well yeah but in a comedy way so it's all right

Jenn: If I had a baby I would bite it.

Sex and Violence

Rachel: I was broken and entered by a real estate agent.

Jenn: You spanked me!
Rachel: Yeah, but that was after you beat me.

Spare Quotes

Quotes from the 2009 Annual Burzlaff Wii Bowling Tournament.

Rick: Did you just use Cartesian dualism in a joke?

Patrick: I only do it straight in video games, not in real life.

Paige: Jess has got amazing underarms.
Patrick: They're probably airbrushed.
Jess gives them the death look.

Patrick: Tim, you can't drive my stick. Pause
Patrick: Don't tell Becca I said that.

Paige: What's your favorite position?
Patrick: 7th. It's the longest.

Guitar Hero

Claire: He's really funny but he's always so serious looking, like he wears shirts.

Jenn: I was all wet and naked, so you know, you're nervous.

Mammoth Quotes

Becca: Tim, get me wood for the fire.
Rob: Just to be clear, did I hear what I think I heard?
Lauren: Yes. Becca needs wood.
Becca: I don't get it.

Later.

Tim: Becca has enough wood to last the rest of the night.

Becca: I need bigger wood.

Tim: I haven't been reading much at night. I've been busy.
Becca: Just tell your hand, "No."

Becca: And you didn't send your boy toy?
Lauren: No.
Becca: But Tim wasn't doing anything.

Tim: I'm hot.
Lauren: So take off your sweatshirt.
Karen: And your pants.

Robert: The nuts absorb the alcohol. That's why I'm so bad at it - cause I'm small.

Rob: That's how I know we're related.
Becca: What, you'll take off your pants too?
Rob: No, I'll take off his pants.

Lauren: Milk, it's gentle and effortless.
Becca: I don't need to know about your fetishes.

Tim: I want to show you how easy, soft, and milky it is to milk.

There are quotes from Christmas, but I think I left the paper at Paige and Patrick's apartment.