After seeing the new moon trailer

R: I have paper cuts. Can I get worker's comp for that?
J: No, but watch out for vampires. Coming at you from across the room. In slow motion.

For Kaite

Rachel: If I were a lesbian I'd totally go for you!!

Claire: You have to love Satan, you lesbian person. *reactions of astonishment* What? I was joking. I love Satan too.

Sex and Violence

Rachel: I was broken and entered by a real estate agent.

Jenn: You spanked me!
Rachel: Yeah, but that was after you beat me.

I'm beginning to doubt your commitment to Sparkle Motion

Rachel: I could cover him in sparkly glitter.
Claire: Marshmellow fluff is quite sparkly.

Edward: Say what I am. Say it outloud!
Claire: Stalker!!

Edward *sparkling*: This is what I am.
Seb: Sweaty?

Christmas cookies!

Rachel: We should put the cookie dough in the fridge.

Claire: Oh right, it says "chill" [on the recipe] and I figured, we're in England...

Twilight quotes and then some

Jenn directing Claire: Get off the tube and follow the screaming.

Claire: I wouldn't say 'I want to have your babies,' I just want to have sex with you.

Girl in front of us: Are you Mormon?

Us: Oh god no. awkward pause Why, are you?

Rachel: We're nerdier than Amy

Claire: Oh yeah we're dirtier than Amy, what did she say like when we're talking about our sex lives...

Jenn: Where is he (Robert Pattinson)? Can you see him?

Rachel: I don't... Oh wait! No! I see his hair!

Jenn: Acceptance is the first step

Seb: No, having a drink is the first step.

Walking past a Friend's Meeting House on Euston Rd

Rachel: Maybe I should become a Quaker.

Jenn: Oh, I wouldn't like to be in control of so many lives.

Rachel: Whaaa...

Jenn: Plus the whole suicide thing would freak me out.

Rachel: WHAT???

Jenn: Remember we were talking about people jumping in front of trains?

Rachel: What... does that have to do with Quakers?

Jenn: Oh, I thought you said tube driver.

Rachel: It's only when I started to ship them in my head. pause I am my own fandom.

Rachel: throwing houses on the monopoly board What? I don't have a degree in urban design.

Seb: Nothing is completely evil. Even the Wehrmacht made good cars.

Kaite: I'm very gay but I'm attracted to guys like David Tennant. If he asks very nicely, I would have sex with him. pause I'm David Tennant-sexual.

Claire: If you google Claire you'll find chocolate wrappers.

Nick: Dairy. Dairy is good.

Amy [?]: But it's so broad.

Nick: And Christianity isn't?

Seb: Notch, notch, notch

Rachel: Was she counting her conquests on your knife?

Seb: It's not long enough.

Puff paint. yes. really.

Rachel: You should suck on it

Claire: But I wanted to blow it

Rachel: i am having a super nerd day tomorrow
Becca: you're not a nerd
Rachel: did i tell you we are going to a recording of mugglecast
Becca: how fun! i take it back

If there was any doubt about our nerd status...

Claire: So it's like... I want to give up my life and my soul so I don't get older than Robert Pattinson?

Rachel: Actually, it's Edward Cullen, but yeah.

Claire: It makes more sense if it's Robert Pattinson.

Seb *explaining why he can't write sex scenes*: Also, my main characters are 15.

Rachel: You could have flash forward into the future sex...?

Claire: Like the epilogue in Harry Potter? But with sex?

Claire: This is so awesome! Thanks for putting the idea in my head

Rachel: What idea?

Claire: Nano. [pause] Also, Julia Quinn.

Kaite *on the phone*: Speaking of sex, I'm in the middle of writing of threesome.

Claire: That was like the third time I'd seen him and he was like CRAZY, like maybe he was Stefanie Meyers' dad...

Claire: You should say it's the guy who blesses people on the Victoria line, because I'm sure people know him.

Claire: Do you know wizard rock?

Kaite: *shakes head*

Claire [business-like] oh, okay, we need to do that.

Seb: Why is it quarter to eight already?

Kaite: Jesus!

Seb: Naw, I don't think he did it.

Seb: I can't remember from our discussion last year. Is it cheating if your character has the same dream twice?

Rachel: No! Come on. Haven't you read Order of The Phoenix?

Jenn: She's pregnant, so she had to at least have dabbled...

Rachel: Well, her husband was abusive....

Jenn: Okay, dabbled or raped, those are the options.

Quote round up (nanowrimo love scene edition)

Rachel: What did we ever do before the internet?

Seb: I'll ask Google.

Claire (to Nimbus): If you want hurt someone just write a novel. You can kill undergraduates. 

Seb (on the quick quotes quill): That would be awesome. "And then stuff happens." Fifteen minutes later you'd have Twilight.

Jenn: So you were planning social entrapment on JK Rowling?

Amy: ... Basically yes.

Claire: I forcered her awake by being awake

Jenn: She forced me awake by talking incessantly

Claire: That's what I call being awake

Jenn: She had sex last year.

Rachel: Well, I kind of lied.

Seb: Did you lie up or did you lie down?

Rachel: I lied down.... hey....

Claire *excitedly*: I learned how to conjugate the verb 'thrust'!

Claire: Now I wish I hadn't sent you the sex scene.

Rachel: *reading the aforementioned sex scene*: "Complete this scene?"

Claire: Well yeah it needs to be finished, you know

Everyone else: *bursts into laughter*

James: What kind of sex are you having that lasts 4,000 words? And where can I get it?

Claire: Someone said you were a bad influence.

Rachel: What?!

Jenn: No one said that. She doesn't understand English very well.

Rachel: I've got an epilogue and a sexilogue.

Jenn: Have you written your climax scene then?

Power Share

Rachel: I feel like we should be putting condoms on our power cords.

Claire: If you're implying that you're going to make little baby computers, I want one.

Amy: I can't have nutella. No, not for the same reasons. I just... quit.

Amy: Okay, just one.

Claire: Do you know the Dr from ER? I'm not sure he's Serbian but he's really cute!

Claire: Yeahhhh Sometimes discipline means no life.

And an old one:

Becca: I'm just saying that I view relationships--

Rachel: As being taken by aliens?

Becca: ...differently than you.

The results are in

Random American: Where are you from?

Seb: Brighton. The only state that can't vote.

American: Ah, the US of K.

Jenn: Who pours liquid in a cup?

Seb: What was I doing?

Rachel: Defriending all your friends who voted for prop 8?

Seb: I don't have any of those

Rachel: Neither do I. They're all family.

Seb:Easier to get rid of then.

Some more

Claire (as Rita Skeeter): So what magazines do you read?

Rachel (as Sarah Palin): Oh you know, all of 'em.

Rachel: Are you sleeping?

Jenn (lying on the floor in the middle of the hallway): No.

Rachel: Are you meditating?

Jenn: No.

Rachel: Are you studying the ceiling?

Jenn: No. I'm trying to decide what special powers the stone will have.

Claire: We could host a write in at our place
Rachel: potluck dinner
Claire: potluck? What smoking lucky pot?

Taboo and novel-writing

Jenn: It's a very stereotypical thing that [French people] wear on their heads.

Lefke: A baguette? 

Jenn: Where does the wine come from?

Claire: A graveyard?

Jenn: Rachel is this by virue of having no... guardians

Lefke: An orphan?

Seb: What's wrong with Harry Potter?

Rachel: [word: saddle shoes] After sneaker I was like 'fuck that shit' and I moved on

Lefke [word: surgery]: You might not live through it

Jenn: Death

Lefke: [word: toothfairy] It collects your bodily parts.

Jenn: [word: stubble] George Clooney has this on his lower region & under his mouth 

Claire: Gorgeousness.

Lefke: [two hours after playing Taboo] I don't even know what Taboo is.

Rachel: Well, they might have sex, just not on screen.

Seb: If it doesn't happen on screen it doesn't happen, no matter what Harry and Ginny shippers say.

Becca: She has a rather imaginative imagination

Rachel: You would have been the only one

Sue: Not dating Rob?

Tim: Well, Chris has, and Lauren has, so yeah.

Tim: I had a party once when they were coming home later that night.

Rachel: What made you think that was a good idea?

Tim: Well it wasn't so much a party as me and Katie getting drunk.

Tim: No, I'm not stupid. I know how to play beer pong with hard liquor, trust me. 

[deleted]

Tim: Why do you have to put that on there? That's private Tim information.

Becca: This is me being allowed to be kind of evil. I don't need to be drunk to do that.

Tim: I don't know, do you like, pet a baby or what? I'm allergic to babies.

Becca: I'm not ticklish
Rachel: I'm not tickling you, I'm poking you
Becca: I'm not pokalish

drinking game

Rachel: Wait, really?
Becca: Yes, I have to prepare for tomorrow
Rachel: So being hungover will help?
Becca: it can't hurt!

Say it ain't so, Joe

Seb: Think of it this way. It sounds cliché to you but he'd probably never heard it before.

Claire [French girl]: I want to get some woolen thighs like they have here. [She means tights.]

Rachel: The fundamentals of the American economy are strong.
Seb: Yeah, they're also drunk.

Claire: Guys, I'm making stuff to throw at the TV if you want to help yourself...

Seb: I've just had a scary thought. If we get drunk enough, will she [Palin] start to make sense?

Claire: It's so much easier to drink in English. I just feel Englishish.

Rachel: In what country is that the size of a shot?
Amy: Texas?

Lefke: Are you writing down quotes? Can I see?
Rachel: No, they're beer-soaked.

Claire: Who is she winking at? Is she having an affair with the camera man?

Amy: You know, the first time I was drunk I found it very helpful to throw animal crackers at people.

Couchsurfers = nerds

Jenn: Did you want the wedding ring instead of the pearl earrings? Because I would think that the earrings are more wearable.

Amy: Can we watch Land Before Time clips on youtube?

Claire: He's a magical toad. Why does Wormtail get to live and Trevor the Toad has to die?
Rachel: Because Wormtail is an actual person and...
Claire: Wormtail's not a person, he's a... jerk.

Return to London

Jenn: Hey maybe we'll get drunk at the Obama thing.

Jenn: Do you know what a funnel cake is?
Rachel: YES!
Jenn: Not you. I was asking the UK people.
UK people: *shake heads*

Jenn: A Renaissance faire is like America's version of England.
Seb: Yeah we call it a street.

Reason #573 why we are better than Bella Swan

Rebecca: she did put her foot down about one thing!
Rachel: what having sex before becoming a vampire?
Rebecca: yep
Rebecca: that would totally be the top thing on my lists of things to do before becoming a vampire
Rachel: ...
Rebecca: (i was being sarcastic)

Rachel: so when you come to visit again you'll be staying in our emo teen vampire brothel
Rebecca: well at least i'll get one to do off my list
although
i've been accused of being a vampire, so maybe it's too late
Rachel: why would that make it too late? have you been hanging out in emo teen brothels?
Rebecca: um, apparently there was a misunderstanding