After seeing the new moon trailer

R: I have paper cuts. Can I get worker's comp for that?
J: No, but watch out for vampires. Coming at you from across the room. In slow motion.

And then Buffy staked Edward. The End.

Jenn: We've already had this Twilight versus Harry Potter conversation
Couch Surfer 1: There is no conversation. That debate just doesn't exist.
Couch surfer 2: I haven't even read Harry Potter and I agree with you.

I'm beginning to doubt your commitment to Sparkle Motion

Rachel: I could cover him in sparkly glitter.
Claire: Marshmellow fluff is quite sparkly.

Edward: Say what I am. Say it outloud!
Claire: Stalker!!

Edward *sparkling*: This is what I am.
Seb: Sweaty?

Twilight quotes and then some

Jenn directing Claire: Get off the tube and follow the screaming.

Claire: I wouldn't say 'I want to have your babies,' I just want to have sex with you.

Girl in front of us: Are you Mormon?

Us: Oh god no. awkward pause Why, are you?

Rachel: We're nerdier than Amy

Claire: Oh yeah we're dirtier than Amy, what did she say like when we're talking about our sex lives...

Jenn: Where is he (Robert Pattinson)? Can you see him?

Rachel: I don't... Oh wait! No! I see his hair!

Jenn: Acceptance is the first step

Seb: No, having a drink is the first step.

Walking past a Friend's Meeting House on Euston Rd

Rachel: Maybe I should become a Quaker.

Jenn: Oh, I wouldn't like to be in control of so many lives.

Rachel: Whaaa...

Jenn: Plus the whole suicide thing would freak me out.

Rachel: WHAT???

Jenn: Remember we were talking about people jumping in front of trains?

Rachel: What... does that have to do with Quakers?

Jenn: Oh, I thought you said tube driver.

Rachel: It's only when I started to ship them in my head. pause I am my own fandom.

Rachel: throwing houses on the monopoly board What? I don't have a degree in urban design.

Seb: Nothing is completely evil. Even the Wehrmacht made good cars.

Kaite: I'm very gay but I'm attracted to guys like David Tennant. If he asks very nicely, I would have sex with him. pause I'm David Tennant-sexual.

Claire: If you google Claire you'll find chocolate wrappers.

Nick: Dairy. Dairy is good.

Amy [?]: But it's so broad.

Nick: And Christianity isn't?

Seb: Notch, notch, notch

Rachel: Was she counting her conquests on your knife?

Seb: It's not long enough.

If there was any doubt about our nerd status...

Claire: So it's like... I want to give up my life and my soul so I don't get older than Robert Pattinson?

Rachel: Actually, it's Edward Cullen, but yeah.

Claire: It makes more sense if it's Robert Pattinson.

Seb *explaining why he can't write sex scenes*: Also, my main characters are 15.

Rachel: You could have flash forward into the future sex...?

Claire: Like the epilogue in Harry Potter? But with sex?

Claire: This is so awesome! Thanks for putting the idea in my head

Rachel: What idea?

Claire: Nano. [pause] Also, Julia Quinn.

Kaite *on the phone*: Speaking of sex, I'm in the middle of writing of threesome.

Claire: That was like the third time I'd seen him and he was like CRAZY, like maybe he was Stefanie Meyers' dad...

Claire: You should say it's the guy who blesses people on the Victoria line, because I'm sure people know him.

Claire: Do you know wizard rock?

Kaite: *shakes head*

Claire [business-like] oh, okay, we need to do that.

Seb: Why is it quarter to eight already?

Kaite: Jesus!

Seb: Naw, I don't think he did it.

Seb: I can't remember from our discussion last year. Is it cheating if your character has the same dream twice?

Rachel: No! Come on. Haven't you read Order of The Phoenix?

Jenn: She's pregnant, so she had to at least have dabbled...

Rachel: Well, her husband was abusive....

Jenn: Okay, dabbled or raped, those are the options.

Quote round up (nanowrimo love scene edition)

Rachel: What did we ever do before the internet?

Seb: I'll ask Google.

Claire (to Nimbus): If you want hurt someone just write a novel. You can kill undergraduates. 

Seb (on the quick quotes quill): That would be awesome. "And then stuff happens." Fifteen minutes later you'd have Twilight.

Jenn: So you were planning social entrapment on JK Rowling?

Amy: ... Basically yes.

Claire: I forcered her awake by being awake

Jenn: She forced me awake by talking incessantly

Claire: That's what I call being awake

Jenn: She had sex last year.

Rachel: Well, I kind of lied.

Seb: Did you lie up or did you lie down?

Rachel: I lied down.... hey....

Claire *excitedly*: I learned how to conjugate the verb 'thrust'!

Claire: Now I wish I hadn't sent you the sex scene.

Rachel: *reading the aforementioned sex scene*: "Complete this scene?"

Claire: Well yeah it needs to be finished, you know

Everyone else: *bursts into laughter*

James: What kind of sex are you having that lasts 4,000 words? And where can I get it?

Claire: Someone said you were a bad influence.

Rachel: What?!

Jenn: No one said that. She doesn't understand English very well.

Rachel: I've got an epilogue and a sexilogue.

Jenn: Have you written your climax scene then?

Reason #573 why we are better than Bella Swan

Rebecca: she did put her foot down about one thing!
Rachel: what having sex before becoming a vampire?
Rebecca: yep
Rebecca: that would totally be the top thing on my lists of things to do before becoming a vampire
Rachel: ...
Rebecca: (i was being sarcastic)

Rachel: so when you come to visit again you'll be staying in our emo teen vampire brothel
Rebecca: well at least i'll get one to do off my list
although
i've been accused of being a vampire, so maybe it's too late
Rachel: why would that make it too late? have you been hanging out in emo teen brothels?
Rebecca: um, apparently there was a misunderstanding