Logarrhea

I can't find the first two papers with quotes on them from the holiday party, so more quotes will definitely be forthcoming. But here are such that I can currently find.

Chris: Robert made out with books tonight.

Robert: I interpret that really wrong.
Rachel: Oh Robert... your pants are wet.
Rachel: (a little later) The funny thing is, it's my fault.

Chris: I don't need a gym. I just need friends so that I can hurt myself.

Robert: We have no more open bottles of wine... except for Natalie.
Becca: Natalie is an open bottle of wine?

Robert: Everybody who's going to have nightmares, please raise your hand.
Chris raises his hand.
Chris: It's about me and I'm having nightmares, too.

Robert: Take pictures to your heart's content.
Jessica poses.
Robert: I didn't say act stupid to your hearts content.

Becca: Robert is a butthole.
Jessica: ... That I agree with.

Rachel: I wear things underneath my pants, but it doesn't make it any different when I take them off.

Jessica: Did I scare you?
Tim: No, Chris in a teddy, that scares me.

Tim: I don't think they should make salad dressing in a little squirt thing.

Sportsmanship

Chris: "So you like football players, huh?"
Jess: "Just the kicky kind."

Supervision necessary

It falls to me to put the quotes down from last night, even though I didn't hear most of them.

Patrick: I go to a very liberal school.
Rachel and Jessica: Really?
Patrick: Well, it's a liberal arts school.

Patrick: There are sects of sects. (say it out loud)

Chris: (to Becca) Let's go to the back room (everybody heard bathroom).
(Becca follows)
Rachel: (to Jessica) Should you be worried?
Jessica: (shrugs) Nah.
Rachel: Cause it's Becca, but then again, it's Becca.
Patrick: I don't know what you mean by that, but I see your point.

Jessica: If I had a penny for every time I've been in that predicament.... I'd have a penny. Actually, I'd have nothing.

Jessica: A sneeze is like a tenth of an orgasm.
Patrick: My girlfriend said that the other day. She loves them!
Jessica: Sneezes or orgasms?

Becca: (asking a Trivial Pursuit question) What did Florida attorney Ellis Rubin say inmates could donate in exchange for a reduced sentence?
Chris: Livers?
Patrick: Blood.
Rachel: Sperm!
Becca: Body parts. So Chris, you were right.
Rachel: I was right.
Chris and Jessica: Sperm is not a body part!

Chris: He's too drunk 'n stupor...

Chris: I rose my hand.

Patrick: Then he es-chewed.

Related quote

Rachel: You can be engaged without a ring.
Chris: Tell that to a girl.
Rachel: ...I am a girl!
Chris: Tell that to a real girl!

(Since when did I turn into Becca?)

PS, Tim, or Rob, put up the quotes from the party!

Family

Some late quotes from a family dinner.

Jenny (my cousin): So we're going to have a big ceremony (wedding) in a couple years.
Becca: Oh that's nic-
Jenny: And you will be a bridesmaid and you will wear a dress.
Becca: What!


Jenny: So Matt (her brother) is going to get married.
Becca: Oh, so he's engaged too?
Jenny: No, he's not engaged, he's just going to get married. He says.
Becca: Um, isn't the definition of "engaged" going to get married?

Tom (my great uncle): Oh, she's really getting married? I thought you were joking. I didn't think people got married when they got pregnant anymore.
Stephanie (my dad's half sister): Yeah, I didn't.

Schooling

Patrick: I love it when they give you a book to read and you're like..... no.

Mixers

Rachel: Are you ever gonna drink that koumquat liquer?
Robert: I don't know what I would drink it with.
Tim: Me!
Robert: What! not who!

The drinks go down and the quotes come up

Chris: You already told me that.
Rachel: I'm sorry, it's like you're the victim of my thoughts.
Jessica: That's very poetic.
Jessica: Something just squirted me.

Chris: So the head will taste really bad...

Rachel: Oh, Becca doesn't know what balls are.
All: aww
Rachel: I'm just kidding.
Becca: I played baseball until I was 13.
Rachel: I was talking about a different kind of ball...

Rachel: Do you know how hard it is to pee into a hole in the ground when you've been drinking?
Becca (a little bit later): That's a great idea! Portable toilets! Just add water!!

Rachel (to Chris): Do you want a drink?
Jess: No, he's driving.
Chris: Yeah I've had two beers and a drink. Actually one and a half beers. Actually just one beer and one drink. Well more like one drink.

Becca: He's the one with whom I have something in common.
Jessica and Rachel (in unison): WHAT?
Becca: Something in common... what?
Jessica & Rachel: .... nothing...

and something else I can't read.

Also a public apology to Becca.. I was angsting because I thought she had the quotes and wondering why she hadn't put them up yet, but then I looked in my wallet & saw that I still had them... so, sorry.

Oh dear...

Chris: It is very difficult for the unalive to exist.

VIQ Lounge

Carly: There are two kinds of people at UCSB: Those who party and those who graduate.

Quotes from the Cholo

Me: *quoting Veronica Mars* See this? This is my "over-the-moon" face.
Chris: See this? This is my "under-the-Mars" face. *pause* Keith Mars.

Freudian Slip

Natalie: Wow, Hookers is really empty. *pause* Crap,I mean Hooters!

Typical Wednesday

Chris: I know the "You're-going-to-be-a-daddy talk."
Rachel: Wha-
Chris: From TV!

Chris: Chicken: it's the chicken of the... land.

Tasty?

I heard this on my way home from class.

Guy 1: What goes in Irish Carbombs? Guinness and... a shot of what?
Guy 2: I think it's vodka. (thinks) Yeah, vodka.
Guy 1: I'm going to go to the store and getting those to make my own carbombs.

Band Nerd

Blake, while watcing "It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown:" Now that is good use of an alto sax.

Gotta love the LA news

Announcer: And then, a prank turns deadly when a shopping cart falls on a woman. More at 11.

What?????

TMI

All: You have to streak in your underwear.
Tim: But I'm wearing my thong.

Forgot one

Rachel: We were discussing our love lives.
Becca: You have a love life?

Announcement.

Rachel: My aunt made the craziest rum cake. When I drank it-
Becca, Jessica, and Chris: When you drank it?

Tim: I had a red headed slut and a blow job for my birthday.

Becca: Tim's the red headed slut.

Tim: I hate this game - I always lose or win or whatever.

Rachel: Or we could play lemon Stockholm 57.

Tim: Announcement: I am drunk.

Jessica: I write'm going that. Wait. I'm going to write that down.

Tim: If you're living vicariously through me, is your face numb?

Becca: When did this happen?
Jessica: Eventually.

Rob: We were trying to flash one another (about Chris).

Tim: (while streaking in his underwear) You only turn 21 once! I'm a golden god!

Tim: to Rachel You are too old. How old are you?

Tim: Shut up! That's not sweet.

Tim: Can you feel your face?

Relationship status

Chris: It's a tax break... like a charity!

Rachel: So I guess TV shows are more important than me.
Chris: Yeah pretty much.... oooh football!

Sentiments

Becca: I'm not completely devoid of romantic... something.

Drinking + Phone Calls = Bad Interpretation

Chris: I need some dealies for my horse.
Jess: You need dealies for your whores?
Chris: *exasperated* Yes. My whores need dealies. *whispering* They're called thongs!

Becca refused to post this one

Rob: I cheated on myself.
Amanda: With your left hand?
Becca: UNECESSARY!

Because your boyfriend's cheating on you

Mary: I like to just pop them out and see what they got.

Rachel: Wasn't he in the RSPC? (meaning ROTC).

Amanda: (to Rachel) That's because you're a dirty, dirty whore.

Crack is wack!

*Driving up to San Francisco*
Jessica: So, to you I am like crackers and an outlet?
Chris: Yes! You're my "cracklet!"
Jessica: That makes me sound like a crack whore!
Chris: *thinks a moment* No, it makes you sound like a small, cute firecracker.
Jessica: Great.

Taking about Becca

Me: "but then everyone will think she's easy--"
Chris (without hesitation) "She is."

Remember, remember...

This is probably incorrect, so fix it.

Rachel: I'm trying to remember the quote now, what was it?
Chris: I don't remember it.
Rachel: Something led up to it, but it ended with, 'She's easy.'
Everybody laughs
Becca: Wait, who's easy?
Pause
Rachel, Chris, and Jessica: You are.
Becca: What!

some funnies from Europe

Discussing our various countries' nuclear outlooks.
Jean-Louis: I wish we had the bomb. Man, why did Switzerland have to give up on the bomb?
Daniel: but you don't have anywhere to test it.
Jean-Louis: Yes we do! France!

Dicussing our travel plans.
Daniel: I just have to be in Munich by the end of September.
Me: Oh, is that where your flight is from?
Daniel: No, it's where Oktoberfest is.

Bad combination

Jessica is trying to write her name with vodka on the cement in order to light it on fire.

Somebody: It works better if you take the cap off.

Now for the paddling of the swollen ass!

Heard as walking out of Lindy Groove (which is held at the Masonic Temple in Pasadena):

Random guy: Yeah, I've known a few stone masons in my life. They were all whores.*

* He might not have said whores. He could have said they are all "bores," or they all like "stores." But, I definitely heard "whores" and it is much funnier to me. :)

Sealed for Freshness

Heidi: "Those babies just start popping out. Pop! Pop! Pop! They're just like pringles: once you pop you just can't stop."

Randomness from Calaveras St.

Jess: Whatever happened to the super hunks?
Nat: What DID happen to the superhunks?

Nat (referring to her boss): She has a lot of friends. Just none that can stick their penis in her.

Blake's hairdresser to Blake: You have very delicate ears.

Sarah (Blake's sister): Food keeps getting stuck in my hole.
* for the record, she was referring to her mouth. Get you minds out of the gutter! *

Did I Just Hear That?

From my office I hear the bathroom door open, followed by:

Guy #1: Don't forget to shake the mouse.
Guy #2: Yah, I'm doing that right now.

It took me a second to realize that the second guy wasn't in the bathroom but in the office across the hall.

Ahoy hoy!

Blake: I am going to make up a quote just to make it on the quote page. Um.... quotes... ahoy! There! Put it on there!!!

Vacuuming

Chris: "I haven't sucked this hard since Blake was in town!"

Another Chris-ism

to Denise in reference to Jessica's card playing abilities
Chris: "You're just sucking her mojo."

Hoot

on the subject of owls
Jess: "That was my first word! Not owl, "who".

Ouchoo!

Patrick: "I think I'm allergic to the newspaper, because I sneeze everytime I do the Sudoku puzzle."

Me: "You're probably allergic to thinking."

Backlog

Jessica: AA - for losers and quitters.
Becca: And people who can't handle their liquor.

Chris: I finish their sentences mentally.
Blake: Mentally would be in your head.

Is that your poker face?

Brian: Why don't they make eatable bottles? 'Oh, I'm done with my bottle - what should I do? I'll just eat it.'

Dom: Hey Chris, is the pool working at your house?
Chris: What do you mean is it working? It's a tub of water.

Chris: Oh man, I've gotten the last cards the past three hands!
Dom: So that means you have a queen and a ....
Chris: Oh crap!

Paul: Why do I feel like Cheeshead is going to be rubbing my feet tomorrow?
Brian: I don't rub, I lick.

4th of July Party

Jess: "Hey, you can't do that! You're not the judge, you're just the king!"

Jess: "Handcuffs - don't knock them til you try them."

More to come soon hopefully.

While sofa shopping...

Lady 1: I wish I brought my measuring cup.
Lady 2: Your measuring cup?
Lady 1 (glaring at lady 2): You know what I meant.

Bugle Boy!

Chris: I come from a long line of attractive people in my genes.

* Just say it out loud. Yep, there we go.

"I just make up words"

Becca: His name is Manny. Because he's not hu-manny.
Chris: Wow, you're really hamannying it up.
Rachel: You guys are crazy.
Chris: We're just uncanammy.

And later...

Chris: Does she really lust him... or does she lurst him?

Um, awkward

Rachel: PH didn't answer my last email.
Chris: Um, what? Awkward!
Rachel and Becca look very confused
Chris: Oh, I thought you said that he didn't answer your lust email.

Don't know much about Geography

Rachel (to Robert): I'll bring you some shells back from... Croatia.
Jessica: There's the ocean in Croatia?
Rachel: The Adriatic.
Jessica: That's a sea! I know some things.

We're reaching that age

Rachel: I feel like I should be finding a man and having me some babies.
Rob: See, I'm the exact opposite.
Chris: Yeah, Rob feels like he should be making babies and then find him a man.

Truely

Rob: I should call Chris this evening, let me know that I'll be be in town this weekend.
Becca: So you and Chris are the same person now?

Name game

Becca: Does "rachel" start with "becca?"

Alcohol + Puppets = A rockin' Friday night!

Watching Team America: World Police
Becca, Galen and I have the movie paused and are chatting.

Galen: I hate to kill this party, but can we see what the puppets are doing?

Becca: That's why they do it with puppets.
Jess: So we can laugh at Kim Jong Il.
Becca: And his lisp.
Jess: Yes. And his lisp.

I'm like my trailer

Amanda: Did you work on the trailer?
Rob: but mine is the one that makes the least sense, but looks the most refined
Amanda: Nice.
Amanda: Just like you.
Amanda: Nonsensical, but refined.

Extraordinary ___________

Jess: Is this a human chess machine?

All the same

Amanda: *talking about her paper* blah blah blah our depression era parents--
Rachel: You have depression era parents?
A: Well, no, I meant to say grandparents, but my dad was born in '44.
R: That's not depression era.
A:... but it was depressing!

YOU HAVE CENTER STAGE?

Nat and I, sitting in her room drinking copious amounts of wine while our friend Galen is on the phone with his mom. We are bored and trying to entertain ourselves.

Jess: I'm going to do a jig! *does a jig in front of Galen*
Galen: *laughing* sorry Mom, Jess just did a jig in front of me. *he keeps talking to his Mom*
Nat: You should flash him!
Jess: OK! *flashes Galen*
Galen: *laughing* Sorry Mom, Jess just flashed me. *thanks Galen*
Nat: I'm a horrible friend!
Jess: It's okay, I wouldn't have flashed him if I hadn't been wearing a sports bra.
Nat: Um, that's not what I meant. There's something on your back. *I reach around and pull a KICK ME sign off my back. Thanks Nat.*


Galen: Like Jess said, it's very well written, but...
Nat: She didn't say that.
Jess: I DIDN'T SAY THAT!

Galen: I'm embarrassed for you every time I see that you own Center Stage.
Jess: *very excited* YOU OWN CENTER STAGE??!!!

I think Nat and I have a drinking problem.

I'm not fat!

Chris: It's because you're fat.
Becca: I'm not fat! I'm girthy.
Chris: Oh yeah, you're girthy. And rotund.

I forgot about this one

Denise: I would pigeon that tattoo.

Stewards and Stewardesses

I had one quirky airline stewardess during my trip to Chicago. One of her more memorable quotes was:
"Please remember that this is a non-smoking flight. If you wish to smoke you may step out onto the wing where we'll be showing our in-flight movie of 'Gone With The Wind.'"

After telling my father this, he regaled me with one he's heard on planes:
"Be careful when opening your overhead bins because 'shift' happens."

DAdaism

Carol: I don't think there is anyone in my family I want to marry.

The title is just to provoke Becca into another correction, I'm sure. I actually took a class on Dadaism, but it was in French so I'm sure I misunderstood the whole point of it.

Why am I the only one posting? (besides Jess)

Existensialism

Jose: But what is a table?
Dr O: Well, I know this is a table because when I set my mug down [she demostrates] it doesn't fall. Sometimes I do that with wine [she mimes setting her mug down on the air besides the table]. Ok, I'm drunk. I could have sworn there was a table there.

Thesis Week Quotes (take with a grain of salt)

Jessica: If you don't stop popping your shoulder, I am going to start talking about serial killers again!
Nat: That's a threat if I've ever heard one.

Nat: You were on a serial killer's message board?
Jessica: Yes... we all make poor choices.

Jessica/Galen: That's the shit cover cherry on the crap sundae that is my week.

These are probably only funny to us because we are operating on very little sleep...

I can hear you

PH: *walks into the classroom & looks at me* Where did you get a can of diet coke? I spent forever looking for a can of diet coke.

Me: Huh? What's in Canada?

PH: Didn't you have a can of diet coke in my office earlier?

In my defense, I heard "Why don't you go to Canada; I spent forever looking around in Canada," and I thought it was a continuation of our earlier grad school conversation.

Vera explains it all

"With all this youthful freshness, and needing more experience of life, and so on, I must be suffering from arrested development," I thought ruefully to myself.

Mein Führer!

Rachel: Germany does it for everyone.

So that's where the potatoes went

Becca: American history is so boring. No representation without taxation. I mean...

"What happens in New Amsterdam stays in New Amsterdam."

So said the Dutch colonial expert who guest spoke in class today.

Also, Dr O.: "Excuse me, but that's bullshit," on not using "I" in history papers. She compared it to women shaving armpits instead of men. I wish my classes were 100% this amusing.

Bonus Quote: "His parents were both librarians. It's like being raised by wolves, only scarier." Chaz. (I don't think I got the wording on that one quite right.

Grand Prix quotes

Cowboy Hat guy: I'm a pretty, pretty princess! *yelling at the top of his lungs at 3am*

Nat and Jess *multiple times*: That's going on the quote page!
Other people: What?
Nat and Jess: Nothing...

Jess: Burgers overboard!

Desperation

Tim (sending me a text message from Cana-Duh): I didn't get carded. :)

Rachel got schooled

R: It's like having friends without the benefits
B: You can keep your benefits.

Or something like that. I can't remember the exact wording, but ouch.

Beyond the Sea

Cruise quotes (the ones I can remember anyway):

Nat: *walking up to a bar full of strangers* Who's buying me a drink? *three guys offered*

Jess: NO! NO!

Nat and I met two rather creepy fellows who attempted to chat us up in the bar the last night.

Creepy Guy 1: So, what do you guys do?
Nat: We're writers for a magazine.
Creepy Guy 2: Oh, which magazine?
Jess: US Weekly.
Creepy Guy 1: Who was the coolest celebrity you've ever met?
Nat: well, I don't know about "coolest," but Celine Dion was the most interesting. She was "conserving her voice" and would tap out the answers to my questions on the table. "So, Celine, how are you enjoying your Vegas show?" *tap tap tappity tap* Then her handler would translate. "She likes it very much."

The previous conversation was greatly, greatly condensed, but it gives you an idea. :)

Sushi & sport

R: Where's my sockie?
B: You drank that already.

Chrisisms

Patrick and Chris, in a poking match. Chris: Hey, that's my cervix!

Rachel: It's about Eleanor of Aquitaine.
Chris: Eleanor of Accutane?

Boredom

Becca: He's just really bored.
Rob: Isn't having a wife supposed to cure that?

Becca: looking at the beginning of a Long Island God bless anything with that much alcohol.

The power of love

Chris: I like how they keep putting those titles together. It's like it says: "How I met your mother - a 48 hour mystery."

Becca: You need the power glove.
Chris: Did you say, "You need the power of love?"
Becca: Yes, only the power of love can save Link.
Chris: Who's love?
Becca: Mine.
Chris: Link's screwed.
Becca: Hey! Chris points at the screen as Link dies
Chris: You see!

Damn you alcohol!!!!

After a night of HEAVY drinking:
Nat: Damn you alcohol!!!!

Jess: So you are coming on me
Nat: Yes, I pulled out my invisible HUGE penis and came all over you
Jess: That's not what I meant
Nat: And then is came out your nose
Jess: Low blow
Nat: hahaha
Jess: That's what I was doing when it came out my nose

Jess: I just turned water into wine
Nat: You are JESUS!!!!

Thorwing things at cars

Jess: Wow! That made an awfully loud ding for a Frito. Maybe it's all that chili cheese.

Dude looks like a lady

Nat: I need to stop dressing up as unattractive men.

Along the tonic aisle

Chris: Maybe we should get some Mentadent
Rachel: How about a Venus Vibrance?
Chris: Venus Vibra--wha???

Safari

Chris: Becca doesn't wear shirts around people.

Did he just...?

Rob: My butt hole is getting really big.

Rob on why he needs a new pair of jeans.

Since we're on the theme of class quotes

PH: Hitler Youth was like Boy Scouts... I love making that analogy.

This quote is rated PG-13 for language

This happened in theater last night when my teacher, Alan Blumenfeld, was critiquing my scene.

Blumenfeld: Sure, I love three hours of fist up the ass jokes. Guys telling ya to suck their cocks. This is what Hollywood is like for women.
*Class laughing in shock*
Me: That's going on the quote page.
Blumenfeld: What?
Me: Nothing.

Feminism?

Becca: Emma... what's her name?
Rachel: Austin.
Becca: That's right Emma Austen... er no.
*Rachel gives evil stare*
Rachel: Jane...
Becca: Oh yeah, Jane Austin. Emma Thompson, Jane Austin... same person.

Corrected by Becca

Slackers!

Some people have been seriously slacking in their manamana-ing (you know who you are!). Are you guys even out there still? If you won't update, you could at least comment!.

And because this is a quote page:

Becca: Rachel, you're a kitty-friend.
Rachel: Is that because I like to cuddle?
Becca: Yes.

Which reminds me of an old Wyma (philosophy prof at Whitworth) quote:

Keith: I'll grant you that cats are aware - evil - but aware.

So true, so true.

Evil Giraffes?

Chris (while Rob writing down evil laugh quote and reciting it outloud): Did you just say drunken evil giraffe?

Becs on DEWM

Rachel: ohhhh
Rachel: um
Rachel: a qualified disaster
Rebecca: nice!
Rebecca: er, i didn't mean that
Rachel: yes you did

Evil Laughs

In the middle of our third round of drinks and at the point where playing Smash Brothers on the gamecube was really starting to get interesting...

Rob: ::evil laugh::
Chris: That was quite an evil laugh.
Rob: Yah, that was my drunken evil laugh.
Chris: Everybody needs a good drunken evil laugh.

Puppy!

Rachel: Chris is like a puppy-friend.

Brrr!

*while looking at the ever darkening sky*

Natalie Miller: *regarding the weather* I call shananigans!
Jessica: On who? God?
Natalie Miller: *thinks for a moment* I don't think you can call shananigans on God...

Ha....ppiness

Chris: "I need the help of my big pencil.... No comments, please."

I am a Rock

Rachel: (refering to Becca's shirt) "Mt. Bachelor? Shouldn't Chris be wearing that shirt?"

Frothy

Rachel: "So you left me all the foam? Typical boy."
Rebecca: "So all he left you was the head?"

AA

Chris: "You know what rehab backwards spells? BEER!"

The truth comes out

Becca: So I'm a snob.
Chris: You're also a bish.

Cool vs. Hot

Rob: Car is cooler than girlfriend. *pause* But girlfriend is hotter.

(Robert on why his phone has a picture of his car as its background and not a picture of his girlfriend)

Lust Party

Nat: What just happened?
Jessica: You blew your stuff in my face!

Del Taco

While in the drive thru for del taco...

Chris: I thought that I ordered the soft taco...
Jess's Nat: No Chris, that was your nickname.

I want to love you! PYT! Pretty young thing!

Going through the Del Taco drive-thru listening to Michael Jackson's PYT. Natalie Miller, Rob, and Chris rocking out in back. Becca and I laughing at them in the front.

Natalie Miller: Hey guys! It's business up front, party in the back!
Me: We're a mullet!

This party is going to be off the hook!

Natalie Miller: You two discussed philosophy. You're pratically soul mates.

Becca: 30 bucks, not bad for a night of....
Rob: Debauchery?
Becca: Yeah, that's what I was going to say.

hanging gardens of babylon

rachel and chris: *hide from becca*

rachel: i've got the gin

chris: why do you have ginny? what did she ever do to you? you... rachelmort!

rachel: *dies laughing*

Kisses for Becca

Rebecca: i see "muah" and i think "mwahahaha"
Rebecca: as in evil
Rebecca: but really you mean it as something eviler

Overheard phone conversation

1: He said he wants a partner. Are you ready to jump into bed with him?
2: I'll be anybody's partner if they pay me enough.

What kind of company did I sign up to work for?

Free tips

I read this today at lunch and it made me laugh:

(about cards people leave in restaurants along with tips)
"Jesus Can Save You! - No thanks, I updated my memory card at the last save point."

Chris: Fungineering...sounds like it has something to do with mushrooms.

Fame

Last night Gabe and I were discussing a mutual friend's ex-boyfriend.

Me: He introduced me to Harry Connick Jr.
Gabe: Really??
Me: Not... literally.

Dream quotes

Last night I dreamt I had a great quote for this blog, except now I don't remember the quote. I just remember that the quote was great.

Harking back to 2000

Chris, pointing to Africa on his globe: See, Chad! What a great guy... hangs out a lot in Florida.

Anything's possible?

Random guy at work: Short of having a baby, I can do anything, given enough money.
Becca's mind: Hmmm, given enough money I bet he could have a baby.

But why is it that pregnancy is the end all of things men can't do? They also can't lick the back of their head with their tongue, but I've never heard anybody mention that one.

New Year's Eve

Where ever you find us, you'll find alcohol. Where ever you find us & alcohol, you will find quotes.

"I don't think I'm a Martini girl," said I, after sampling Chris' v strong martini.
"I don't think I am either," said Chris.

"See: easy in, easy out. Ahhh..." said Chris, demonstrating his new wine opener, of course.

"I don't... snow," said I, in response to Tim's generous inviation to Mamoth. Or however it's spelled.

That's all I can remember off-hand, and, unlike Lazy Becs, I didn't take notes.

Strandedness

Since I was stranded in socal this weekend, I have no quotes from friends to share. Instead I shall share two quotes from scrubs that humored me.

You know, thats the worst thing about college football. The male cheerleaders. Oops, god, thats a chick...

Dr. Clark (Heather Graham's character): Perry, no one's pure evil. But I mean yah, some people have a hard outer shell, but inside everybody has a creamy center.
Dr. Cox: There are plenty of people here on this particular planet who are hard on the outside and hard on the inside.
Dr. Clark: So the have more of a nuggetty center?
Dr. Cox: Lady, people aren't chocolates. You know what the are? Bastards. Bastard coated bastards with bastard filling.

Cheetos

Rachel exclaims with glee upon spying a half-filled bag of flaming hot cheetos on Becca's dresser.
Rachel: Are those what I think they are?
Becca: Yah, I got them for you.
Rachel: But why did you eat half of them?

Ketchup (or is it Ketsup...maybe it's spelled Catch Up...)

Becca: I can help you dumb it down. I'm dumb.
Rachel: No. mumbled I need Chris for that.

Rachel: I don't know any men.
Becca: You don't know any men? What are Rob and Chris?
Rachel: Boys.

Rachel, I've told you. I... am... lazy. - Becca

I already told you. I... am... stupid. - Chris

Philosophy majors - we shatter other people's realities. - Jessica and Becca

Democracy is a boy. - Rachel

I concentrate harder when I'm in the bathroom. - Chris

She only looks like that cuz you haven't had enough alcohol. - Tim

The category is aquatic mammals. - Chris
Seal. - Jessica
Lobster. pause Oh wait, that's not a mammal, its a crustacean. - Carly

I saw a bumpersticker that said, "What would Dumbledore do? - Jessica
Die. - Carly

You can pick Rob or alcohol. - unknown
I should have picked alcohol. - Rachel

War sucks. We shouldn't have it anymore. - Rachel

Nora Roberts writes about all kinds of stuff, you learn about all kinds of things, like gardening and architecture. - Rachel
Later: Archeology, it was archeology. - Rachel

And a few sheets of toilet paper... to add quality of life. - Rachel

Melville Pourer: So do you know each other from school? Or are you siblings?
Us: Yeah, from high school. Do we look like we're siblings?
Pourer: Well, not really. But you tease each other like siblings.

Chris: (while trying to poke Natalie at night)Poke. Poke.
Rob: Chris, that's my head.
Chris: Uh.

Becca: This pillow smells like boy.
Robert: Do you smell boys often?
Becca: Yeah, well, I have to get my fix.

Belgian women are easy. - Chris

You can't judge a book by its margin scribbles. - Rachel

Chris hands Rachel Pauls' drink to finish it off.
Rachel: No thanks, I don't want to drink after your brother.
Chris: Yeah, I can understand that. He kisses girls, after all.
Rachel: Exactly. takes a drink from Chris' glass Which is why I don't mind drinking after you.

You know that Harry is going to profess his unlying dove for Voldermort. - Rob

To fifteen year old boys! - Rob, in a toast

That's it, you're off the speed dial. - Rachel

So it had to be more than a booty call. - Chris

I'm a cul-de-sac. - Becca
That's good. - Heidi

I'm okay. - Robert, repeat 20 times

Chris: Heidi, you're undressing me.
Becca: Do not... stop there.

Becca: He won't be naked, he'll have a hat on.
Rachel: Try explaining that to a police officer. "I'm not naked, I have a hat on."
Chris: Well what if you were riding a horse?

Rachel and Chris' mom had been having a conversation about make-overs.
Becca: a little later You might try it now.
Rachel: But I don't have my make-up.
Becca: I was talking about the radio.

One bottle of Tequila: 10 dollars
One bottle of Rum: 13 dollars
Two screws to fix the toliet seat: 2 dollars and thirty nine cents
A night that will live on in infamy: priceless

Psychics? I thought it said physics! - Heidi

Chris: Hi, my name is Chris. Would you like a Wet One?
Heidi: Chris, that explains a lot about your love life.

Rachel: I wonder who I would be as a superhero.
Becca: You could be insubstantial girl.
Rachel: But what would be my power? I guess nobody could attack me. But then I couldn't get hugs.
Becca: I want to be insubstantial girl.

You're proof that you don't have to grow up when you graduate. - Mike

Girls can't mature until they've been dumped at least a couple times. - Chris

Hey, the same thing could apply to guys.... and how many people have you gone out with, Chris? - Heidi, after hearing about the above quote

Hey, I fed you pie. I'm allowed to betray you. - Becca

Rachel: So she could stay in the hotel and be proper, but she goes to the theater by herself instead.
Becca: So she's a hoodlum.
Rachel: No, she's just being her own woman.
Becca: She's a hoodlum.
Rachel: She's not a hoodlum. She just realizes she can break the rules now.
Becca: (in a knowing voice)That's what hoodlums do.

Grammer this up. - Chris

Becca: Way to change the world Chris.
Chris: Yes, one cheese ball at a time.

Don't make me go Darwin on your butt. - Becca and/or Chris

Even Winnebagos dream. - Chris