Don't rub it in

Rob: Nah, I'm just messing with you. I'm worried if you start watching they'll cancel the show.

Keepin it Alive

Rob: I'm genuinely worried my brother might do something stupid.
Becca: What's he up to?
Rob: Honestly I don't know the answer to that question, but I think alcohol might somehow be a catalyst. He shared a few words with me, and by "words" I mean it was like reading one of those e-mail forwards about words with jumbled letters yet you can still understand them.
Becca: I doubt he can get into too much trouble, no matter how much liquor is involved.
Rob: You underestimate the power of Tim. One can never truly estimate his capacity for ingenuity and stupidity.

Rob: It's the Lazynberg Uncertainty Principle. You won't know until you actually try to do something. You cannot be simultaneously lazy and non-lazy.
Becca: I can too. I'm the kitty in the box.
Rob: Then what is the litter a metaphor for?
Becca: Not that box.

Becca: Getting pissy is the prerogative of a girlfriend - I thought you would have learned this by now. long break in the conversation Obviously this information has rendered you typeless. I'm sorry to have to be the one to break it to you.

Becca: Do you think it would be wrong to have Newcastle with breakfast tomorrow?
Rob: Depends, if you pour it in your cereal, I think that's acceptable.

Rob: Number of ideas shot down by Becca: 458,346,789.364
Number of ideas not shot down by Becca: 4.
Becca: I missed 4?

Three in a row...

Becca:Sorry - two nights in a row is all I'm good for

---

Becca:I wouldn't want to keep you from yourself
Rob:It's just me, without a shirt on and using a measuring tape
Rob:What's the big deal?

Late night confessions

Cleaned up from an IM conversation.

Rob: This is bad. I'm like you and now I hate myself.
Becca: So you think I hate myself, or you hate me?
Rob: I hate me for being like you.
Becca: And therefore you hate anyone like me, me included.
Rob: Nah. You being you is fine. It's me being you that I hate.

FOIL

Rob:My brain hears the word foil and works through the following checklist: Literary term, algebra, and lastly, kitchen-ware.
Becca:yep
Becca:same with me
Becca:i have to think that's abnormal

Order of the Stick

Patrick: Don't attempt my stick!

DEWM Party

Finally found them.

Brian: I've never been romantically attracted to a guy, but I consider myself bi-approachable.

Brian: My body by itself is very smooth.

Lauren: Tim, we have to stick together at the wedding.
Tim: What wedding?

Chris: Tim want tequila. Give him apple juice.
Jessica: We don't have any.
Chris: I'll go make some.
Becca: As long as it burns on the way down.

Law & Order: Bakersfield

Jessica: Would you ever hire anyone to rape and kill me?
Chris: You know how I feel about outsourcing.

World Cup 2010

R: Can you drink all day?
J: Yes. basically you just watch football matches and drink all day.
R: I could go for that. How is it different from reading romance novels and drinking all day? [pause] No sex?
J:Well, there's a lot of guys, I think we can work that in.

Please don't go there

Why am I the only one posting anything here? Hop to it, friends.

Professor: If economics were American Idol, Cantillon would be Ruben Studdard, and Adam Smith would be the red-haired kid, Clay Aiken, because Cantillon said it first, just like Ruben won, but Smith is who everybody remembers, like Aiken.

The truth comes out

Jessica: Stupid ring! pause Not that I don't like it.

At least something came out of the Dark Ages

Taking after Rachel, I think I'll post funny quotes from my readings.

"Obsessive anxiety, it seems, was the gross national product of the Middle Ages."

Uncle Milty

Professor (describing a visit with another professor): And then his four year old daughter came in, and in the idea of "dance monkey dance" he asked her, 'What does Uncle Milty say?' The daughter stood stock still and replied, 'Inflation is always and everywhere a monetary phenomenon. G'night daddy!' and gave him a kiss.

I want a four year old to brainwash (just not my own),

ring in the new

Rachel: I hope it's good, I picked it out.
Jessica: Which one is it, Ravenclaw?
Rachel:... Ravenwood.

Tim: So if the parachute doesn't open, that's emotional, right?

Rachel: She got a boyfriend.
Tim: Him [Patrick]?

Becca: Caress it like a lover.

Becca: Tim's used to being single.

Becca: Did you shoot your... cooch?

Jess: People don't give penises clothes (12:30 am)

Jess: I think I shot baby Jesus.

Jess: I can't help that I'm naturally sexy.

Chris (?): And there's only one stop light between beer and my house.

Ubermench

Becca: What about Lois Lane?
Jessica: He's just screwing her.

Tim: When water comes out of the holes in your face.

While playing taboo:
Jess: A woman might do this to her husband...
Becca and Rachel in unison: Beat him!

The vessel with the pestle

Rachel: on how to get out of work Tell them you have something really contagious.... like anthrax.

Rachel: I need to go to Russia.
Becca: Russia?
Rachel: Yes, it's so big and waiting to be conquered.

Rachel: on sisters You wouldn't have minded if you had one like you.
Becca: Yeah, but I would if I had one..... pause like you.

Rachel: Yeah, well they say it's hereditary.
Becca: Pregnancy?

The Rules of the Game

Rachel: Are they allowed to hang onto each other like that?
Becca: He's not holding onto him, he's just...
Rachel: Feeling him up?
Becca: Yeah, that's it.

*Discussing breaking into cemeteries*
Rachel: It would be easy if it weren't for all the policemen around
Becca: Buffy never seems to have any problems
Rachel: Well, she's a fucking vampire slayer, that's her job.

A seven year old boy outside Tesco's: It's raining men! Hallelujah... It's raining men...
*Pause*
Becca and Rachel: *die laughing*

And this was BEFORE the snake bites...

Becca: I saw King Arthur!
Seb: Really? Where? Cause we've been looking for him for centuries!

Seb: I don't really consider myelf a Brit. I'm half-Irish, half-Polish.
Becca: Strangely enough, that makes you American.

Rachel: I don't care what happens after I die. Except I hope my sister doesn't read my journal...

London = Beijing

Becca: on seeing Trafalgar Square It's like Tianamen Square, only with white people.

Ellen: She was from like the Community College of East Wisconsin.

Trick-or-Treat

Partick (to skeleton kid): You've got to put your mask on.
Skeleton kid: Okay, okay... Prepare to be screamified!!
(struggles with skeleton mask)
Patrick: You want me to hold your candy?
(holds kid's candy)
Skeleton kid: Arrrr!!! Grrrrrr!!! Arrr!!! (screaming)
(Skeleton kid waves goodbye while backing away and still screaming)