The Asian Persuasion

Rachel: Who does good on standardized testing? If you do, you must be Asian! ....Or half Asian.
-later-

Rachel: Thank God I'm not stupid!

(While watching the Food Network)
Jessica: I've never seen so many Asian men cry.

A little something from New York

Galen: By the way--I've had a beer and a half and I feel drink.

There were more quotes, but I was never very good at remembering them.

Scategories

Chris: C'mon ride the train.
Jessica and Becca (while doing the train motion): Choo Choo.

Chris: You know, like when you call CalTranz and they have those sayings that rhyme? "Stay alive, don't imbibe." Or I guess it could be "Stay alive don't drink and drive."

Becca: Nobody picked Bronco!
Chris: Except OJ Simpson.

Jessica: Aw, you tole her thunder.

Tim: Wow, I fail at this game. I did F for the first one, then C for the rest.

Jessica: Farm equipment.
Chris: Field goals.
Becca: Fire escape.
Tim: Chimney vent.

Major holidays and quotes are like PB and J

Jessica: You have too many walls. So it's easy to make fun of you. You take down the wall, you have -
Rachel: Adventures? Like Berlin.
Jessica: No, not adventures. Less awkwardness.

Jessica: I think we'll need more alcohol.
Becca: There's not enough alcohol in the world.
Chris: For what?
Rachel: For Becca to take her clothes off.

Jessica: (to Chris) You know you're still wearing the tiara?
Chris: Yes, but Carly's still wearing the wig.
Jessica: So what!

Carly: I dub thee.... sir Becca.

Jessica: It's amazing how much darker the sunglasses make everything.

Rachel: Why are you so attached to the sword? I feel like it's a symbol of something.
Becca: Because it's pointy.

Becca: I'm thinking.
Rachel: You always think!

Matt: How do you have three cards in your hand?
Carly: And I still lost! What the hell!

Becca: Wasn't there some disease that turned you tongue black?
Rachel: The Plague?

Jessica: Wait did anybody die? Okay, we can laugh about it. We're not going to hell... at least not for that.

Some of them I couldn't read, or weren't funny, so if you really want them up, you'll have to do it yourself.

Congrats Natalie!

Carly: It's like having a disco ball on your mouth!

Rachel: We should get champagne!
Chris: We could get single malt scotch. It's like the champagne of scotch.

That annoying song Doncha Wish Your Girlfriend... comes on the sound system
Rachel/Natalie: Hey Becca, it's that song you hate!
Becca: No it's not! [chorus starts] Oh crap.

Rachel: I'm moving to the city that has the most per capita pubs... per capita.

Was it good for you, Becca?

Jess: We're going to take Becca's virginity tonight!
Chris looks horrified
Jess: And by that I mean beer can virginity, of course.
Chris: There are so many things wrong with what you just said...

Seriously?

Rachel: Asher? As in Prancer and Vixen.... You know, "Asher and Prancer and Dancer..."


Robert: Even I look like a hooker wearing a skirt and boots.

When Burzlaffs go WILD!

These quotes are from last Saturday night when Chris and I hung out with his two cousins and their respective significant others. Three Burzlaffs (well, one Burzlaff and two others with Burzlaff blood) in one place equals a LOT of quotes, as you would imagine.

Greg: I totally rock the scrawn!

Chris: Oooh! I want an orange-muffed choir!

Mark: I want a shag-covered toilet seat. Oh wait...

Jen (Greg's wife): Honey, want to try my sweet pine nuts?
Greg: Wow, your nuts are sweet!

Paulette: Here Jessica, finish my drink.
Jessica: Can I have your cherry?
Paulette: Sure!
*five minutes later*
Paulette (to Mark): Look! I finished my drink. Hey! Where's my cherry?

Good times.

What constitutes a first kiss?

Chris: So you were 13 and your bowels got stirred?

Wise Insights

Chris: "That's known as skipping first base and going straight to the pitcher's mound."

Chris: "Which school is this?"
Rachel: "Birkbeck"
Chris: "Brokeback? Well, at least you won't have a problem with quitting."

Rusty's pizza parlour

Becca: Whenever I hear "Magna Carta" I think "tabula rasa"... maybe because Locke was British and he was about the same time... or a lot later.

Rachel: We could be sisters.
B: No we couldn't.
R: Why not?
B: Because we didn't grow up together.
R: But that's only half of it.
B: Whats the other half?
R: Blood.

R: I don't want [you to wear] something other than jeans I want something other than a soccer sweatshirt.
B: It's not a... It's a snowboarding sweatshirt.

B: You could teach him history.
R: Of what?
B: War. He's in a war.
R: More like a current event.
B; He's in a current event?

Pretty in Pink

I will admit that I don't remember the exact quote, but I'm going to try!

Becca: He's like a year... year-old.

Le weekend

Rachel: What is that (spanish name of street)?
Becca: I'm sure it's a tree but I'm not sure.

Rob: Becca has a no touching policy.
Becca: Yes, it's very strict.
Rob: She can only be touched in certain places.

There are probably more I forgot and at least one I am not allowed to put up.

Misc. Holiday Quotes

Here are some quotes left over from the holidays....

Chris: The heat lost its mojo.

Becca: I've now had a red headed slut!

Chris: I'm not drunk, I'm inebriated.
Tim: I'm drunk.

Tim: Jessica, are you still living vicariously through me?
Jessica: No.
Tim: (while touching his eyebrow) Because right here is numb.

Galen: Ooo! I've drank from this port-a-potty before.

Rachel: (reading) In which language is "once" spelled "w...." wait....

Galen: Oh. I thought you were talking about euphamisms for ding-dings.

Depression

Here's a quote I had written down some time ago while browsing through an informercial. I just stumbled across the paper it was on and thought this would be worth sharing.

Salesman: "I was watching 'Seinfeld' and there must be a lot of depressed people watching that show because every other commercial was about depression."

Host: "Well, it is a show about nothing."

Starting 2007 off right....

Jessica: Ew! Is that champagne?
Jan (Jessica's mom): I think it's urine.

Logarrhea

I can't find the first two papers with quotes on them from the holiday party, so more quotes will definitely be forthcoming. But here are such that I can currently find.

Chris: Robert made out with books tonight.

Robert: I interpret that really wrong.
Rachel: Oh Robert... your pants are wet.
Rachel: (a little later) The funny thing is, it's my fault.

Chris: I don't need a gym. I just need friends so that I can hurt myself.

Robert: We have no more open bottles of wine... except for Natalie.
Becca: Natalie is an open bottle of wine?

Robert: Everybody who's going to have nightmares, please raise your hand.
Chris raises his hand.
Chris: It's about me and I'm having nightmares, too.

Robert: Take pictures to your heart's content.
Jessica poses.
Robert: I didn't say act stupid to your hearts content.

Becca: Robert is a butthole.
Jessica: ... That I agree with.

Rachel: I wear things underneath my pants, but it doesn't make it any different when I take them off.

Jessica: Did I scare you?
Tim: No, Chris in a teddy, that scares me.

Tim: I don't think they should make salad dressing in a little squirt thing.

Sportsmanship

Chris: "So you like football players, huh?"
Jess: "Just the kicky kind."

Supervision necessary

It falls to me to put the quotes down from last night, even though I didn't hear most of them.

Patrick: I go to a very liberal school.
Rachel and Jessica: Really?
Patrick: Well, it's a liberal arts school.

Patrick: There are sects of sects. (say it out loud)

Chris: (to Becca) Let's go to the back room (everybody heard bathroom).
(Becca follows)
Rachel: (to Jessica) Should you be worried?
Jessica: (shrugs) Nah.
Rachel: Cause it's Becca, but then again, it's Becca.
Patrick: I don't know what you mean by that, but I see your point.

Jessica: If I had a penny for every time I've been in that predicament.... I'd have a penny. Actually, I'd have nothing.

Jessica: A sneeze is like a tenth of an orgasm.
Patrick: My girlfriend said that the other day. She loves them!
Jessica: Sneezes or orgasms?

Becca: (asking a Trivial Pursuit question) What did Florida attorney Ellis Rubin say inmates could donate in exchange for a reduced sentence?
Chris: Livers?
Patrick: Blood.
Rachel: Sperm!
Becca: Body parts. So Chris, you were right.
Rachel: I was right.
Chris and Jessica: Sperm is not a body part!

Chris: He's too drunk 'n stupor...

Chris: I rose my hand.

Patrick: Then he es-chewed.

Related quote

Rachel: You can be engaged without a ring.
Chris: Tell that to a girl.
Rachel: ...I am a girl!
Chris: Tell that to a real girl!

(Since when did I turn into Becca?)

PS, Tim, or Rob, put up the quotes from the party!