Sex and Violence

Rachel: I was broken and entered by a real estate agent.

Jenn: You spanked me!
Rachel: Yeah, but that was after you beat me.

Spare Quotes

Quotes from the 2009 Annual Burzlaff Wii Bowling Tournament.

Rick: Did you just use Cartesian dualism in a joke?

Patrick: I only do it straight in video games, not in real life.

Paige: Jess has got amazing underarms.
Patrick: They're probably airbrushed.
Jess gives them the death look.

Patrick: Tim, you can't drive my stick. Pause
Patrick: Don't tell Becca I said that.

Paige: What's your favorite position?
Patrick: 7th. It's the longest.

Guitar Hero

Claire: He's really funny but he's always so serious looking, like he wears shirts.

Jenn: I was all wet and naked, so you know, you're nervous.

Mammoth Quotes

Becca: Tim, get me wood for the fire.
Rob: Just to be clear, did I hear what I think I heard?
Lauren: Yes. Becca needs wood.
Becca: I don't get it.

Later.

Tim: Becca has enough wood to last the rest of the night.

Becca: I need bigger wood.

Tim: I haven't been reading much at night. I've been busy.
Becca: Just tell your hand, "No."

Becca: And you didn't send your boy toy?
Lauren: No.
Becca: But Tim wasn't doing anything.

Tim: I'm hot.
Lauren: So take off your sweatshirt.
Karen: And your pants.

Robert: The nuts absorb the alcohol. That's why I'm so bad at it - cause I'm small.

Rob: That's how I know we're related.
Becca: What, you'll take off your pants too?
Rob: No, I'll take off his pants.

Lauren: Milk, it's gentle and effortless.
Becca: I don't need to know about your fetishes.

Tim: I want to show you how easy, soft, and milky it is to milk.

There are quotes from Christmas, but I think I left the paper at Paige and Patrick's apartment.