Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Coming to America

Becca: I should get me one of those and put it on my desk.
Rachel and Chris (in unison): A lingerie?

Chris: Don't knock my British accent. Don't knock my cock pause ney.

Rachel: Have you seen my bum.
Becca: I really don't want to see your bum. pause. That's awesome.

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Still in the closet

Brandon: It's gotten to the point where I'd rather be caught watching porn than playing WoW. pause At least I could explain the former.

Monday, January 03, 2011

Twilight: Eclipse

Matt: If humans get blue balls, what do vampires get?
Jon: Sparkly balls.
Jess: Disco balls!

Joe: Silence! I...have to speak.

Becca: Ah, I need a brother to come.

Matt: She was about to graduate... for the first time.

Joe: It's okay to fart!

Jon: There are two unlesses (to breaking up with someone as soon as you know its not going to work). 1: of you have concert tickets; or 2. you are about to have a birthday and you want your goddamn present.

Whitney: I don't know if you know, but I'm a world traveler and pretty dumb, so...

On drinking games

Robby: Can you guys stop sucking? I'm getting thirsty.

On Multitasking

Brandon: That's how you break a woman down.
Becca: What? Stop her ability to multitask?
Brandon: Yeah, see usually she can listen to you and filter the bullshit. You remove that and next thing you know she's making you breakfast.

Thursday, December 09, 2010

I'm a bad influence

Becca Jennings: stop making me question my life decisions!

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Subtleties of Law

Becca: It's not illegal unless they press charges.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

What do you really think?

Rachel: You are cunning and a Mistress of Evil.
Becca: True, but it has nothing to do with Nano.
Rachel: And everything to do with the very evil nature of your being.

Monday, November 01, 2010

Tell that to the Scots

Rachel: does scotland count as "not england"?
Becca: no

Sunday, October 31, 2010

Becca on Love

Becca: Love is overrated. Subservience is all you need.

Friday, September 10, 2010

Lush

Brandon: That's like differentiating between a whore and a slut.
Becca: You would know.
Brandon: Yep, one costs more. But it's all the same.

Friday, July 23, 2010

Words, Words, Words...

Roscoe: Well, Woody Allen is like the black Eddie Murphy.

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Anger Management

rob: ugh
rob: want to punch something or go run
becca: don't you have a roommate now?
rob: unfortunately it is midnight and I need to sleep
rob: yes
rob: he is already in bed
becca: even better

Sunday, May 30, 2010

Twilight: New Moon Drinking Game

Hester: He's a doctor. He's a vampire doctor.

Jessica: Maybe he's a generational slut.

Jessica: You can go do boy things.
Chris: We're wrestling bears!

Jessica: Why can't she exist without a boy?
Rosco: Because she's a woman.

Jacob takes his shirt off.
Becca: That's worth the price of admissions.
Chris: That makes me wish I had my thing to use on Becca.

Chris: I don't mind that he wants to find something in me.
Rosco: I wish I knew where you hide it.

Chris: Are you a gay werewolf?

Jessica: We had only been dating for a few weeks, and I had never expressed interest in pirates.

Hester: I had a fascinating time with the things
Rosco: I had a great time with the things. The thigns go up and down, depending on how hard you squeeze it.

Chris: Look at the size of those muffins!

Jessica: If a guy messes up my face, he'd better give me a big old muffin.

Hester: He knows it's wrong much more than she does, because he's waiting for her baby!

Chris: A phone wouldn't stop me!

Becca: Because Bella is dead.
Rosco: Who's Bella?

Jessica: True Blood is so much better because there's sex.

Chris: Because, literally, they suck.

Chris: Yeah, suck that, Jacob. Because you can't!

Jessica: I wonder what my vampire ability wqould be. Because clearly we all have one.

Chris: Where's the new moon of the whole thing?
Becca: Jacob. He's the whole symbolism of the movie.
Chris: I didn't see his butt!

Chris: Wow, olympic shaped swimming pool.... that's totally better than our penis shaped swimming pool.

*Roscoe taps the big blue exercise ball*
Jessica: Yeah! Tap that blue ball!
Hester: He will be. For at least the next four days.

Saturday, March 27, 2010

Twihard Drinking Game aka "You don't know how you've tortured me.

Becca: I brought clothes for church tomorrow in case I have to drink too much.
Jess: Have to drink too much?
Becca: They're rules! I have to follow the rules.

Doris: So if they have kids, they're kids can't have kids.
Elizabeth: They're like donkeys.
Jess: Wait. Why aren't donkeys extinct.
Doris: Donkeys are donkeys, horses are horses. But mules are different.

Doris: It's kind of what whatever is hosting it wants to force everybody else to read.

Jess: You can either see the movie or you can drive home, but I can't do both.

Becca: Fade away usually mean something that we can't show and keep our rating.
Elizabeth: He ate her.

Edward: You better hold on tight, spider monkey.

Jess: Oh my God, kiss already.
Doris: He moves so very fast.

Meyer: They really enhanced the scene (Muse).
Becca: They would have enhance it if they had actually played baseball.

Elizabeth: to Chris Suck on the fruit.
Jess: What did you just say to my husband?

Becca: I can't find the right buttons.

Elizabeth: They're chocolate and.... heat flavored! (referring to Twilight flavored Sweethearts)

Elizabeth: Movies that make me cry can't be our drinking game movies.
Becca: But it's a screwball comedy!
Elizabeth: Schinlder's List?????

Thursday, December 31, 2009

Generational Differences Taboo

Jan: (the card is "Mardi Gras") Oh! With the beads and the boobies!

Jess: You hold your things up with this.
Becca: Belt.
Chris: Bra?

Jessica: (the card is "Ecstasy") Oh, um, really excited...
Alan: Aroused?
Jessica: You're close.
Alan: Orgasm!

Becca: Whale!
Alan: It's like that, but with a male part.
Jess: Sperm whale.

Jan: (The card is "Homer Simpson") Oh, the yellow people! The yellow people on tv!

Saturday, December 26, 2009

2009 Annual Holiday Christmas Party

Rob: (on the topic of Twilight) I can be creepy and stalk teenage girls without being a vampire.
Scott: I was thinking the same thing, but didn't say it.

Jessica: I don't like people.

Rob: (talking about people) I'm so confused - what color are they?

Jessica: In some ways, I think you're the girliest one of all. For example, you've read all the Twilight books.

Chris: You can't vote because you're a woman.

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Siblings

Becca: Billy, if you're going to strip, you need to do it on a pole.
Robby: Just jump on the table and do it.

Saturday, December 19, 2009

Hmmm...

Jess [referring to Tim and Patrick's incessant bickering]: You guys are like brothers!... Or lovers....
Jessica: Paige or Patrick?
Chris: Paige because she's better looking.
Tim: I beg to differ.