Logarrhea

I can't find the first two papers with quotes on them from the holiday party, so more quotes will definitely be forthcoming. But here are such that I can currently find.

Chris: Robert made out with books tonight.

Robert: I interpret that really wrong.
Rachel: Oh Robert... your pants are wet.
Rachel: (a little later) The funny thing is, it's my fault.

Chris: I don't need a gym. I just need friends so that I can hurt myself.

Robert: We have no more open bottles of wine... except for Natalie.
Becca: Natalie is an open bottle of wine?

Robert: Everybody who's going to have nightmares, please raise your hand.
Chris raises his hand.
Chris: It's about me and I'm having nightmares, too.

Robert: Take pictures to your heart's content.
Jessica poses.
Robert: I didn't say act stupid to your hearts content.

Becca: Robert is a butthole.
Jessica: ... That I agree with.

Rachel: I wear things underneath my pants, but it doesn't make it any different when I take them off.

Jessica: Did I scare you?
Tim: No, Chris in a teddy, that scares me.

Tim: I don't think they should make salad dressing in a little squirt thing.

Sportsmanship

Chris: "So you like football players, huh?"
Jess: "Just the kicky kind."

Supervision necessary

It falls to me to put the quotes down from last night, even though I didn't hear most of them.

Patrick: I go to a very liberal school.
Rachel and Jessica: Really?
Patrick: Well, it's a liberal arts school.

Patrick: There are sects of sects. (say it out loud)

Chris: (to Becca) Let's go to the back room (everybody heard bathroom).
(Becca follows)
Rachel: (to Jessica) Should you be worried?
Jessica: (shrugs) Nah.
Rachel: Cause it's Becca, but then again, it's Becca.
Patrick: I don't know what you mean by that, but I see your point.

Jessica: If I had a penny for every time I've been in that predicament.... I'd have a penny. Actually, I'd have nothing.

Jessica: A sneeze is like a tenth of an orgasm.
Patrick: My girlfriend said that the other day. She loves them!
Jessica: Sneezes or orgasms?

Becca: (asking a Trivial Pursuit question) What did Florida attorney Ellis Rubin say inmates could donate in exchange for a reduced sentence?
Chris: Livers?
Patrick: Blood.
Rachel: Sperm!
Becca: Body parts. So Chris, you were right.
Rachel: I was right.
Chris and Jessica: Sperm is not a body part!

Chris: He's too drunk 'n stupor...

Chris: I rose my hand.

Patrick: Then he es-chewed.

Related quote

Rachel: You can be engaged without a ring.
Chris: Tell that to a girl.
Rachel: ...I am a girl!
Chris: Tell that to a real girl!

(Since when did I turn into Becca?)

PS, Tim, or Rob, put up the quotes from the party!

Family

Some late quotes from a family dinner.

Jenny (my cousin): So we're going to have a big ceremony (wedding) in a couple years.
Becca: Oh that's nic-
Jenny: And you will be a bridesmaid and you will wear a dress.
Becca: What!


Jenny: So Matt (her brother) is going to get married.
Becca: Oh, so he's engaged too?
Jenny: No, he's not engaged, he's just going to get married. He says.
Becca: Um, isn't the definition of "engaged" going to get married?

Tom (my great uncle): Oh, she's really getting married? I thought you were joking. I didn't think people got married when they got pregnant anymore.
Stephanie (my dad's half sister): Yeah, I didn't.

Schooling

Patrick: I love it when they give you a book to read and you're like..... no.

Mixers

Rachel: Are you ever gonna drink that koumquat liquer?
Robert: I don't know what I would drink it with.
Tim: Me!
Robert: What! not who!

The drinks go down and the quotes come up

Chris: You already told me that.
Rachel: I'm sorry, it's like you're the victim of my thoughts.
Jessica: That's very poetic.
Jessica: Something just squirted me.

Chris: So the head will taste really bad...

Rachel: Oh, Becca doesn't know what balls are.
All: aww
Rachel: I'm just kidding.
Becca: I played baseball until I was 13.
Rachel: I was talking about a different kind of ball...

Rachel: Do you know how hard it is to pee into a hole in the ground when you've been drinking?
Becca (a little bit later): That's a great idea! Portable toilets! Just add water!!

Rachel (to Chris): Do you want a drink?
Jess: No, he's driving.
Chris: Yeah I've had two beers and a drink. Actually one and a half beers. Actually just one beer and one drink. Well more like one drink.

Becca: He's the one with whom I have something in common.
Jessica and Rachel (in unison): WHAT?
Becca: Something in common... what?
Jessica & Rachel: .... nothing...

and something else I can't read.

Also a public apology to Becca.. I was angsting because I thought she had the quotes and wondering why she hadn't put them up yet, but then I looked in my wallet & saw that I still had them... so, sorry.

Oh dear...

Chris: It is very difficult for the unalive to exist.

VIQ Lounge

Carly: There are two kinds of people at UCSB: Those who party and those who graduate.

Quotes from the Cholo

Me: *quoting Veronica Mars* See this? This is my "over-the-moon" face.
Chris: See this? This is my "under-the-Mars" face. *pause* Keith Mars.

Freudian Slip

Natalie: Wow, Hookers is really empty. *pause* Crap,I mean Hooters!

Typical Wednesday

Chris: I know the "You're-going-to-be-a-daddy talk."
Rachel: Wha-
Chris: From TV!

Chris: Chicken: it's the chicken of the... land.

Tasty?

I heard this on my way home from class.

Guy 1: What goes in Irish Carbombs? Guinness and... a shot of what?
Guy 2: I think it's vodka. (thinks) Yeah, vodka.
Guy 1: I'm going to go to the store and getting those to make my own carbombs.

Band Nerd

Blake, while watcing "It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown:" Now that is good use of an alto sax.

Gotta love the LA news

Announcer: And then, a prank turns deadly when a shopping cart falls on a woman. More at 11.

What?????

TMI

All: You have to streak in your underwear.
Tim: But I'm wearing my thong.

Forgot one

Rachel: We were discussing our love lives.
Becca: You have a love life?

Announcement.

Rachel: My aunt made the craziest rum cake. When I drank it-
Becca, Jessica, and Chris: When you drank it?

Tim: I had a red headed slut and a blow job for my birthday.

Becca: Tim's the red headed slut.

Tim: I hate this game - I always lose or win or whatever.

Rachel: Or we could play lemon Stockholm 57.

Tim: Announcement: I am drunk.

Jessica: I write'm going that. Wait. I'm going to write that down.

Tim: If you're living vicariously through me, is your face numb?

Becca: When did this happen?
Jessica: Eventually.

Rob: We were trying to flash one another (about Chris).

Tim: (while streaking in his underwear) You only turn 21 once! I'm a golden god!

Tim: to Rachel You are too old. How old are you?

Tim: Shut up! That's not sweet.

Tim: Can you feel your face?

Relationship status

Chris: It's a tax break... like a charity!

Rachel: So I guess TV shows are more important than me.
Chris: Yeah pretty much.... oooh football!