Twilight: Eclipse

Matt: If humans get blue balls, what do vampires get?
Jon: Sparkly balls.
Jess: Disco balls!

Joe: Silence! I...have to speak.

Becca: Ah, I need a brother to come.

Matt: She was about to graduate... for the first time.

Joe: It's okay to fart!

Jon: There are two unlesses (to breaking up with someone as soon as you know its not going to work). 1: of you have concert tickets; or 2. you are about to have a birthday and you want your goddamn present.

Whitney: I don't know if you know, but I'm a world traveler and pretty dumb, so...

On drinking games

Robby: Can you guys stop sucking? I'm getting thirsty.

On Multitasking

Brandon: That's how you break a woman down.
Becca: What? Stop her ability to multitask?
Brandon: Yeah, see usually she can listen to you and filter the bullshit. You remove that and next thing you know she's making you breakfast.