Racism

Aubri: Don't worry, we accept you for who you are. Unless you're black.

Rob: I just burped up some cupcake. Yum.

Good Advice

Classmate: You could skip the final and kill his family and still get an A-.
Becca: But I don't want an A-.
Classmate: Then don't kill his family.

Kickball

Jake: Adult kickball is the dumbest thing ever, like an organized Candyland league.

Eurovision

John: This is how Rome conquered the the world
Jenn: Pelvic thrusts?

John: She's sparkly, she's a vampire...
Jenn: That's all it takes now?
John: Edward Cullen after the operation

Claire: They gave 10 to the UK and three to France?
Jenn: To be fair the French song was crap too
Claire: yes but it was crap in French!

Claire, exploding into French: [translation: The French sell weapons to Israel! We don't need to give them Euro vision points too.]

Jenn: It does feel more right with the world when we're losing

Jenn: Victory for Norway?
John: Not too often in world events you can wave that banner

UK contestant: My time, it's my time
BBC News: Well, sadly, it wasn't.

Stellar

Becca: I suppose that would depend on anatomy.
Brandon: If we can trade we can have sex.

It's a conspiracy

"You'd think by now they'd have figured out the complicated #2 pencil technology."

Friendly Advice

Andy: Milk her Timmy.

From class

Becca: We need a super liquid, price inelastic good.
Other: Cigs in prison?

Becca: The welfare state: subsidizing stupidity.

Note: I don't remember why we need that type of good, but we did.