Sealed for Freshness

Heidi: "Those babies just start popping out. Pop! Pop! Pop! They're just like pringles: once you pop you just can't stop."

Randomness from Calaveras St.

Jess: Whatever happened to the super hunks?
Nat: What DID happen to the superhunks?

Nat (referring to her boss): She has a lot of friends. Just none that can stick their penis in her.

Blake's hairdresser to Blake: You have very delicate ears.

Sarah (Blake's sister): Food keeps getting stuck in my hole.
* for the record, she was referring to her mouth. Get you minds out of the gutter! *

Did I Just Hear That?

From my office I hear the bathroom door open, followed by:

Guy #1: Don't forget to shake the mouse.
Guy #2: Yah, I'm doing that right now.

It took me a second to realize that the second guy wasn't in the bathroom but in the office across the hall.

Ahoy hoy!

Blake: I am going to make up a quote just to make it on the quote page. Um.... quotes... ahoy! There! Put it on there!!!

Vacuuming

Chris: "I haven't sucked this hard since Blake was in town!"

Another Chris-ism

to Denise in reference to Jessica's card playing abilities
Chris: "You're just sucking her mojo."

Hoot

on the subject of owls
Jess: "That was my first word! Not owl, "who".

Ouchoo!

Patrick: "I think I'm allergic to the newspaper, because I sneeze everytime I do the Sudoku puzzle."

Me: "You're probably allergic to thinking."

Backlog

Jessica: AA - for losers and quitters.
Becca: And people who can't handle their liquor.

Chris: I finish their sentences mentally.
Blake: Mentally would be in your head.

Is that your poker face?

Brian: Why don't they make eatable bottles? 'Oh, I'm done with my bottle - what should I do? I'll just eat it.'

Dom: Hey Chris, is the pool working at your house?
Chris: What do you mean is it working? It's a tub of water.

Chris: Oh man, I've gotten the last cards the past three hands!
Dom: So that means you have a queen and a ....
Chris: Oh crap!

Paul: Why do I feel like Cheeshead is going to be rubbing my feet tomorrow?
Brian: I don't rub, I lick.

4th of July Party

Jess: "Hey, you can't do that! You're not the judge, you're just the king!"

Jess: "Handcuffs - don't knock them til you try them."

More to come soon hopefully.