Becca refused to post this one

Rob: I cheated on myself.
Amanda: With your left hand?
Becca: UNECESSARY!

Because your boyfriend's cheating on you

Mary: I like to just pop them out and see what they got.

Rachel: Wasn't he in the RSPC? (meaning ROTC).

Amanda: (to Rachel) That's because you're a dirty, dirty whore.

Crack is wack!

*Driving up to San Francisco*
Jessica: So, to you I am like crackers and an outlet?
Chris: Yes! You're my "cracklet!"
Jessica: That makes me sound like a crack whore!
Chris: *thinks a moment* No, it makes you sound like a small, cute firecracker.
Jessica: Great.

Taking about Becca

Me: "but then everyone will think she's easy--"
Chris (without hesitation) "She is."

Remember, remember...

This is probably incorrect, so fix it.

Rachel: I'm trying to remember the quote now, what was it?
Chris: I don't remember it.
Rachel: Something led up to it, but it ended with, 'She's easy.'
Everybody laughs
Becca: Wait, who's easy?
Pause
Rachel, Chris, and Jessica: You are.
Becca: What!

some funnies from Europe

Discussing our various countries' nuclear outlooks.
Jean-Louis: I wish we had the bomb. Man, why did Switzerland have to give up on the bomb?
Daniel: but you don't have anywhere to test it.
Jean-Louis: Yes we do! France!

Dicussing our travel plans.
Daniel: I just have to be in Munich by the end of September.
Me: Oh, is that where your flight is from?
Daniel: No, it's where Oktoberfest is.

Bad combination

Jessica is trying to write her name with vodka on the cement in order to light it on fire.

Somebody: It works better if you take the cap off.